GET PROMOTED AT WORK FAST!!!! Item # 1654376187

(to seller)    (to bidder) If you are the seller or a high bidder - now what?	Currently	£789.00		First bid	£1.00
	Quantity	1		# of bids	257   bid history
	Time left	Auction has ended with Buy It Now. High bidder used Buy It Now! Learn more		Location	The Dark Side Of The Moon (aka Coventry)
				Country/Region	United Kingdom/Birmingham
	Started	24-Oct-01 10:38:55 BST		mail this auction to a friend
	Ends	24-Oct-01 10:41:04 BST		request a gift alert
	Seller (Rating)	bash-the-monkey (297)
		view comments in seller's Feedback Profile | view seller's other auctions | ask seller a question
	High bid	spunky-moped (1)
	Payment	Personal Cheque. See item description for payment methods accepted
	Postage	Buyer pays actual postage charges. Seller ships internationally (worldwide). See item description for postage charges.
	Item Revised Before First Bid	To review revisions made to this item by the seller, click here .
	Seller Options	• Relist this item and eBay will refund your relisting fee if it sells the second time around. • See more options

This is your ticket to a promotion, whatever job you are in!!

IF YOU ARE CONSTANTLY LAZY, SUBVERSIVE AND GENERALLY THE WEAKEST LINK IN YOUR WORK PLACE......................THEN THIS IS THE ANSWER TO ALL YOUR PRAYERS

DAVID CORK!!!!!

If your boss has to choose someone to promote, make sure that you are better than someone at least, and David is the key.

Here is a very impressive list of things that David cannot do:

• type more than 5 words per minute (small words only)
• turn up on time
• obey simple instructions
• dress himself properly
• wash
• respect Neal (one of his co-workers)
• general work
• comprehend simple things
• doesn't have the logic of 'cause and effect'
• drive
• look intrested

But these are the impressive things that he can do (mostly without any help):

• stare vacantly at a PC
• surf the internet during office hours
• pierce himself in strange places
• forms simple sentences (mostly without drooling)
• slouch in any chair you give him

Remember the benefits are huge, and not to be taken lighly. These include:

• he makes YOU look good
• low maintenance costs (he only changes his trousers very 6 weeks)
• will only need topping up with crisps, chocolate and Red Bull
• willing to learn at his own pace
• but remember, his services will make you look good

All form of payment will be considered.

REMEMBER DAVID CORK IS NOT A TOY TO BE ABUSED - BUT IF YOU HIT THE SOLES OF HIS FEET, THE BRUISES DO NOT SHOW

Free Honesty Counters.

Bidding is closed for this item.

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1. Contact each other. The seller (bash-the-monkey) and the high bidder (spunky-moped) should contact each other within three business days to discuss payment and postage details.
   
   
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Details for the seller and high bidder(s):
The seller should contact the winning bidder(s) with information on the total cost, including postage, and where to send payment. The winning bidder(s) must pay the seller directly for the item(s), and it is the seller's responsibility to fulfill the order when payment terms are met. The binding contract of the auction is between the winning bidder and the seller.

If the seller is unable to establish contact with the high bidder within 3 business days of the end of the auction, he/she may lose the place as winning bidder, and be at risk for receiving negative feedback and/or a Non-Paying Bidder warning, both of which can ultimately lead to suspension from eBay.

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