Pootie Tang

 There is only one way to review a film like Pootie Tang and that is sum it up with one word. Shite. 

In fact I’ll go one further (because it was really that bad). Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite Shite. 

That's eighty; one for each painful minute of this film. The film is 81 minutes long though, and as there is one funny minute where Pootie Tangs father is killed by a gorilla attack, it is saved from 81 'shite's.  

Quick attempt at a plot summary - Lance Crouther plays Pootie Tang, he talks unintelligently, hits people with his Daddy’s belt and is a role model for everyone. Evil Corporation LectorCorp, tried to exploit him, he loses his belt and confidence. He then regains his confidence and belt; hits more people and wins the day. That’s the extent of it. 

Everyone involved in this piece of crap should stand trial. Originally a character in Chris Rocks highly successful The Chris Rock Show, the translation to the big screen is abysmal, with characters appearing and disappearing with no logic, no real story and most importantly in a comedy, humour is needed.  

Robert Vaugh – one question; why?  Are you really in that desperate need for money? Do you remember when you were good? For Christ sake you were in the Magnificent Seven! And Bullitt! What happened? You were the damn Man From U.N.C.L.E!! But to your credit you do look embarrassed to be in this tripe, and you are the only one.  

Chris Rock, hang your head in shame. In fact, someone beat him with Pootie’s belt. Repeatedly. And then some more. Then line up Wanda Sykes, Jennifer Coolidge, Reg E. Cathey, Missy Elliott, Andy Richter, Bob Costas and Chris Rock again (just for the hell of it); then use the belt on all of them.  

Now bearing in mind that I am a huge fan of Chris Rock’s stand-up, hopefully this review gives an idea how bad this film really is. You have probably heard of straight-to-video, this should spawn a whole new category, straight-to-record-over-with-American-Gladiators.

SCORE 1/10

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